On Either Side of the Dividing Line

Since my dear Daniel was born going on 5 months ago, it has been increasingly difficult for me to even remember (or want to, for that matter) what my life was like without him. He seems so much a part of me every day that life without him is truly inconceivable. With that said, as he gets older, there are things I miss about the days before he was born. The biggest of that (very) small list being: sleep.

Growing like a weed.

It's 11:30 at night and I am importing photos from my iPhone to my computer in hopes to clear up some much needed space on my portable lifeline. I haven't imported photos since the little guy was about a month old and well, he's 4 months+2 days now and yeah, I'm looking at over 1000 photos! I'm sure the actual damage could be much, much worse. It's fun though, as each photo pops up on the screen as it's saved to my hard drive; reliving each photo and seeing how much he's grown in the last few months is such a treat. Did I mention that a couple weeks ago, I had him weighed at the WIC office and he clocked in at a smooth 17 pounds (he wasn't even 4 months old yet!). It's hard to believe considering how I feel like he's been this way forever but yes, he really did gain 10 pounds since his birth and yes, he has changed tremendously!

Yes, we co-sleep.

In the beginning, it wasn't by choice; Daniel simply wouldn't sleep in his bassinet and I thought he was still a little too small for his crib. Then, it became a choice. I pushed to have him sleep in his crib, I suspect it came from the guilt of not having him sleep in something my parents bought (and my mom so looked forward to buying). The transition was easy enough and he falls asleep nicely... in the beginning. Then the 2 am feeding rolls around, I just spent the last few hours sleeping like a rock so getting up to lift my screaming son from his crib feels like I'm lifting a starfish out of the ocean from the top of a cliff with chopsticks. I have. NO. ENERGY. Then comes time to actually feed him, all I want to do is nurse him laying down. It's God's gift to women to be able to do that only until I wake up an hour or so later and we're both fast asleep and my boob is cold. So after his first feeding, he never actually makes it back to his crib. Oh the plight of breastfeeding mamas...

In the beginning, a cosleeper bassinet...

A little over a month later, getting used to his crib.